It is our human nature to avoid what is uncomfortable and gravitate towards what is more comfortable or pleasurable. For some, it is much easier to avoid those feelings then to figure out how to navigate through them and deal with the real problem(s) the emotions may be tied to. For this reason, I often tell clients that “Therapy is for the courageous.” It takes courage to see and face your stuff and trust the process.
~~~I recently had a client tell me (I receive her consent to tell this) that she described to someone what therapy was like sometimes for her. She said, “Remember when Norbit (in the Eddie Murphy movie) was in the basement cursing at his wife through whispers, that is what I say sometimes about therapy “I hate her (speaking of me), I hate her, I hate her.” I was truly amused and humbled that she feels safe enough, courageous enough, and trust me enough to deal with the hard stuff. All I have to say is YES FOLKS, IT GET’S REAL ON THE COUCH. ~~~
Avoiding uncomfortable emotions can create more issues later (emotionally, physically, behaviorally, or spiritually). Here are some indicators that you are uncomfortable with emotions.
1. You avoid feeling and look for distractions (sometime addictive distractions).
2. You feel bad about feeling bad.
3. You have a hard time accepting compliments.
4. You are so detached that you don’t really know what you want.
5. You often feel anxious or depressed.
6. You are fidgety, finding it hard to slow down and relax.
7. Your self-talk is harsh and critical.
If any of these indicators are familiar, you must ask yourself: What about your feeling makes you uncomfortable? What you think may happen if you allow these feelings to come? The good news is that these feelings are not as much of a threat as you may think. Emotions are nothing but indicators that something needs to be addressed (not avoided) in your life.